Y UPDATES Y
Sunday, November 16, 2008
2:12 AM
Hi I'm juz feeling lonely n down now..Thanx to dis blogger dat i can vent n pour out everything here..I'm juz tired n exhausted..I'm tired to act n put on a drama everytime n everyday..Forcing myself to smile but deep inside i'm crying..Forcing myself to laugh eventho the feeling of happiness has long left me..Forcing myself to look OK n be cheerful but deep inside i'm so hurtful and in pain..Its been nearing to 6 months i'm in this kind of state but I juz persevere with the pain..No one noes n feel the way i am rite now,hanya Tuhan saje yg tahu how I go thru my life all this while..Never ever I feel dis way before..why dis tym round?Everyone's excited when it cums to Friday but not fer me..They have their own friends or loved ones to go out with..Well for me,sumtymes I do make appointments to go for facial n massage ON MY OWN!Just to release stress and fill up my own tyme..Emo or wad?So UNEXPECTED of me to go out all by myself(selalu nye mesti kene ade org temankn)huh no choice..All this while,I juz keep quiet but till when?There's a limit to my patience..I'm not complaining but I juz feel too heavy carrying the burden n pain all by myself..Where r all my frenz?*ponderz*do i have any at the ferst place or have all gone to him n having enjoyment behind my back..Hanya melalui DOA aku meminta dan merayu kepadaMU..Hanya titisan airmata lah yg sentiasa menemani dan menjadi saksi di setiap hari2 ku(n i tink dats one of the reason y the cleaner say now I have dark circles around my eyes like kungfu PANDA)..
Sedih ku sakitku ku terima;
ku rela ku pasrah jalan ku;
ini suratan aku dicoba ;
demi rahmatmu ku memohon.
Ya Allah redhai ketulusan hati;
Ya Allah beri aku ketabahan;
Ya Allah aku sanggup berkorban;
Demi rahmatmu Ya Allah.